Happy {Belated} Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

You were are always there for me, supporting me, and guiding me.  I didn't always know it though.  In early elementary school I was teased because you wouldn't let me watch cartoons on Nickelodeon.  When I was 12, I remember being upset because you wouldn't let me go see that PG-13 movie.  Then I got to high school and a whole new world of injustice arose: how could you be so overprotective that you wouldn't let me drive or ride with my friends or go anywhere without calling you when I leave and when I get there?! 

I'm sure with every battle you said, "One day you'll thank me," or "One day you'll understand," and hoped that it'd turn out to be true.  And today I'm writing to tell you you were right.  I never understood why you said "no" to all those things, even as I watched the ones who used to be my friends get into trouble and drugs and bad relationships.  I didn't really understand until I had a daughter myself. 

I get it now.

I hope and pray that I'll be that kind of mom to her.  The kind of mom who is strong enough to tell her "no" even when she doesn't understand why.  The kind of mom who always always keeps the line of communication open so that no topic is off limits.  The kind of mom who is there for her no matter the time of day (or night). 

As much as I fought you and didn't understand why you had the rules and standards for me that you had, I always wanted to grow up to be you.  I hope now that I've been given that chance, I hope I can be even half the mom you are. 

I am so blessed to be able to call you Mom, and I love you so much.

Love always,
B

A Fresh Start

In my last post I alluded to the fact that I have been struggling with my identity recently.  For the past several years, since M joined the Navy, I have been quick to define myself as a Navy wife (and fiancee and girlfriend before that).  However, I have come to realize a few things about that:
1) I won't be a Navy wife forever, and
2) I am so much more than just a Navy wife.
In light of these things, and the fact that my writing encompasses much more than the military aspect of our lives, I thought a new name and a new look for this blog was in order.

I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause; I know my many readers will be deeply troubled by having to change the link they have bookmarked.  In all seriousness though, I love that blogger lets me change my site address, but I do wish there was a way to redirect from the old one.  I suppose I could have kept the old one and started this as a new one, but this way I could keep everything in one place.  All that to say, make a note of the new web address if by chance one of the 10 readers I have does keep my page bookmarked.

I really hope that I'll be able to be more diligent about blogging in the next couple of weeks.  My time-management skills have been seriously lacking in the past few months, and I'm working very diligently to get myself back on track.  I also have quite a few adventures in mommyhood to write about and maybe another post or two about our cloth diapering journey.  So stick around and catch up on a little bit of [our] life!

Duty

My blog is titled "Navy Wife & Mommy Life," but as of late has had very little to do with the Navy aspect of our life.  Well, it's had very little to do with anything at all since M got home because I have been slacking horribly in updating, but I digress.  I find that a frequently define myself as "Navy Wife" and not much else.  I hope I'll make time in the next week or two to post about how that has been weighing on my mind recently.  For today, I'm just going to be the Navy wife.

Before M left, we were told that his ship would be going into drydock for maintenance when they returned from deployment.  A few weeks ago, that finally happened.  This is good news, as it means there is no chance of him re-deploying for the length of the stay in the shipyard.  And that should mean that we get to see him more!  During the week, he generally works regular days: 0630-1530.  Every fourth day - weekends included - he has "duty."  Duty means he is required to stay on the ship for 24 hours and be on call or standing watch for that shift.  His department has four duty sections that rotate, so the reactors are manned 24/7.  This means that if his duty day is on Sunday through Thursday, he goes in to work at normal time, is on duty for 24 hours, then works the regular workday the next day.  If duty is Friday or Saturday, he goes in at normal time and spends the night on the ship, but is usually home by 9am the next morning.  And if duty falls on a Saturday, he does not have to go in to work on Monday - so we still get a two-day weekend.

Even though Saturday duty days seem like they shouldn't be that bad, I hate them.  They always fall on weekends when I have a million things I need to get done and they just end up being horribly inconvenient and stressful for me.  Today was one such day:

My in-laws are coming tomorrow evening.  I am excited for their visit, and have known about it for months.  For some reason, though, the fact that I needed to prepare a place for them to sleep escaped me until a few days ago.  I realized that I really needed to finished unpacking the last few boxes that are still stacked in the guest bedroom and I needed to make up the beds in that room for them.  And those tasks needed to be completed in addition to the standard cleaning that I like to get done before I have visitors.  I got a lot done yesterday in the way of laundry and regular cleaning, but still needed to get the guest room ready today, as well as clean the bathrooms and finish making up the beds.

Our church was also having a spring cleaning day this morning and I had books to return to the library.  I had planned to get up at 7, shower, get SJ up at 7:30 (her usual wake-up time), head over to the church for a few hours, drop the books at the library on the way home, and work on cleaning up the guest room.

 SJ had other plans, of course, and decided she wanted to say goodbye to Daddy before he left for work.  After I tried to get her back to sleep for over half an hour, we got up for the day around 6:30 and it was all downhill from there.  She only got about 9 hours of sleep last night (she usually averages 11-12), so she was in a miserable mood from the moment she woke up.  She napped, but only for a total of about an hour and a half, and that was divided over three naps.  She was incredibly unwilling to occupy herself for any amount of time today, so the only thing I managed to accomplish on my to-do list was the unpack the boxes from the guest room.  Unfortunately, unpacking them was as far as I got.  We had dinner and then I finally gave her a bath and got her ready for bed around 7.

We had been under a tornado watch all day but hadn't gotten any storms yet, so after I put her down I decided to turn on the weather just to check it out.  A very strong line of storms was approaching and the NWS issued a tornado warning for my city.  And I live in a third story apartment, so I obviously have no basement or real safe tornado shelter.  So I went and got SJ, grabbed my laptop, and ran down to the complex clubhouse to wait for the storm to blow over.  While we were hanging out there, a very loud alarm (not the fire alarm) went off and continued to sound the entire time we stayed there.  The tornado warning was lifted at 8:15, so we headed back to our apartment after that and I finally got SJ to go back to sleep at about 9:15.

And now I still have my entire to-do list to do.  I think I will just put away the clothes that I unpacked earlier today and clean up the dishes from dinner and head to bed though.  I am exhausted!  Tomorrow M will be home to at least occupy SJ so that I can finish the list after church, I hope.

Goodnight friends!

Where Is the Time Going?!

It's been over two weeks since I've updated again, and we've had quite a few new developments!

SJ finally decided to roll over both ways, then last Thursday she figured out how to crawl!  Silas is none too pleased with this development, but he's a good sport and just finding new hiding places in the apartment :)  And on Saturday, her first tooth finally broke through!

And in other news, I decided to give the business world a try and became a Pampered Chef consultant!  My grand opening show is on Saturday and I'm not really sure how it will go.  I love the Pampered Chef products; they make everything so easy that they pretty much sell themselves.  I'm just hoping that my friends will be on board and help me book a couple shows!

A Long-Overdue Update: 7 Months!

SJ is seven months old today.  I can't believe how quickly time has flown, and at the same time I can't remember life before she was born.  It feels like she has always been a part of our lives, but so very much has happened in these past seven months!

SJ has learned so many new skills since I last had a chance to write.  I am currently watching her rock on all fours and scoot backward (slowly) across the living room floor.  It won't be long until she's really crawling - I'm not ready for that yet!!  She mastered the art of rolling from her back to her belly at the beginning of the year and she has been sitting unassisted since the end of January.  She is fully capable of rolling from her belly to her back, but she refused to do so most of the time and just cries until someone turns her over.  Silly girl!!

Daddy has been blowing raspberries on SJ's belly since he came home from his last underway, and she quickly figured out how to do the same to Mommy's arms/shoulders/hands!  It's pretty cute, except for the slobber-covered body part I end up with :)  She also learned how to give kisses without licking my face, and I can't get enough of those!  So far she only gives me kisses though.  Yesterday, I was playing with her and started clapping my hands in response to some of the things she was doing.  Last night, she started clapping back to me!  Such a quick learner!

Her new favorite "toy" is our cat, Silas.  She shrieks with delight as soon as she sees him.  Most of the time she can pet him gently, but those grabby hands of hers have a tendency to pull his fur if I'm not careful.  Of course, SJ is much more fond of Silas than he is of her.  He is much more tolerant than I'd expect, though!

We started giving her some solid foods last month.  She hasn't had much yet, just baby oatmeal, bananas, pears, and avocado.  She really likes her oatmeal and avocado, but was not a fan of the bananas or the pears.  We did give her a little spoon of applesauce while we were out to eat the other night, and she enjoyed that.  I didn't want to give her much though, because I'm sure it had added sugars that she certainly doesn't need. 

I have been thinking she must be teething for the past few months, but no teeth have broken through yet.  She doesn't seem to be in much discomfort, just drooling a lot and chewing on anything and everything within her reach!  I'm okay with her teeth holding about a while longer - I'm not looking forward to relearning to nurse her with teeth!

And speaking of feeding, it's getting close to lunchtime in our house.  I will hopefully have a chance to write again soon with an update about our new apartment!

Questions

I am a perfectionist.  I don't do anything half-heartedly.  I learn absolutely everything I can about a topic before I get involved.  I have learned well how to research, but haven't master the art of conclusion just yet.

Fourteen months ago, I found out I would soon become a mother.  Six months ago I welcomed my beautiful daughter into the world.  You had better believe I spent my pregnancy reading every parenting book I could find.  And then SJ was born, and I learned that a book doesn't always provide the answers life requires.  {I realize the irony in that statement.  The Book does provide the answers life requires.}

I also learned that everyone has opinions about the right way to raise a child.  There are countless philosophies based on an equal number of theories and studies about the effects of this style or that style of parenting.  With so many ideas out there, how in the world can I figure out how to raise my baby?

A baby is a helpless little human.  She lacks the physical and physiological skills to take care of herself.  She cannot express her needs in any way except through her cry.  As a newborn, she has no wants, only needs.  I have read that it is impossible to spoil a baby.  They say you cannot hold her too much, respond to her cries too quickly.  She will always tell you when she has needs that must be met. 

A baby is a human.  Eventually she does need to be taught how to behave.  She does need to be taught how to live.  At what point in her development do needs become wants, and must behavior be taught?  You may not be able to spoil a baby, but you certainly can spoil a child.  When does a baby become a child?  Where is the line?  When should things switch from being baby-led to being parent-led?

And what if I do it wrong?  There are so many different ideas, and so many of them are in stark opposition with one another.  How can I be sure I'm doing the right thing?  And more importantly, how can I teach her to make right choices, and to love God?  How do I know she'll turn out okay?

Two Weeks!

We will be moving to our new apartment in two weeks and I can't wait!  It still seems so far away, until I look around at everything I have to do before then.  Then I realize that I have way too much to do and not nearly enough time to get it done.  I would probably be more productive if M were here to help, but his ship had to go back out for another underway.  He will be home in time to help us move (we hope!), but all the packing is up to me.  My MIL is coming to visit and help me pack next week, and I am so grateful and looking forward to the help.  I had hoped to be able to get a good bit of the work done before she comes, but I doubt that will happen.  I had plans of having things organized and packed neatly so unpacking would be a breeze.  So far that is not transpiring: SJ has been quite a handful this underway.  I'm not sure if it's just because she's so much more alert now or she knows daddy is gone again or what.  She still is not sleeping well and does not nap for longer than 45 minutes, and she is seldom content to occupy herself for any amount of time anymore.  Finding time to shower is difficult, let alone pack up our entire apartment!  Please don't misinterpret me on this point though.  I will admit I have gotten frustrated on more than one occasion, but I don't for a single minute wish she wasn't here.  She brings more joy into my life than I ever imagined she could, and I had no idea I could love someone the way I love her.

I have been meaning to write an update for well over a week, but just haven't found the time.  There have been quite a few things I'd like to blog about, but I probably won't get to it until after the move.  There has been one topic that's been on my mind for a while, but of course now that I've found the time to actually put it into writing, I don't remember what it is.  I'm sure I'll be thinking of it as I try to sleep tonight, but it alludes me for the time being.  I also have a few posts to write about diapering, one about laundry routines and another about advice I wish I'd followed.  I'd like to write some reviews of different diapers if I ever find the time, too. 

And she's awake now, so I'm off again.  Enjoy this {rainy} Saturday!

Edit: Now I remember what I actually wanted to blog about, and I'm writing it down so that next time I have time to write I will remember my topic: Parenting Guilt

I'm Still Alive!

It has been exactly a month since I posted anything at all, and longer since I posted anything of substance.  I apologize for my absense; I'm sure you'll forgive me after you hear about the month we've had!

M finally returned from deployment on December 20, and it has been so wonderful to have him home.  He had two weeks of leave beginning immediately after he debarked the ship, and it was certainly a busy two weeks!

The first 5 days after he returned were spent adjusting to life as a complete family again, and filling M in on everything that happened at home while he was gone.  Of course he was able to share his adventures with us as well, but I think we had more to tell.

SJ spent her first Christmas with just Mommy and Daddy.  I told her all about Jesus and His birthday and why we celebrate, and then we helped her open her gifts. She was less than thrilled with the unwrapping of the presents, but I think she enjoyed the gifts themselves.  We decided to forgo the festivities with our extended families this year and spend some quiet time together for a few days before making the trek to visit everyone else.

Sunday, December 26 we awoke to nothing less than blizzard conditions.  I had been keeping an eye on the weather forecasts and had hoped we could get on the road before the storm got bad; unfortunately we were true to form and late as usual.  When we were finally ready to head out around 10 am, there were already six inches on the ground!  On our way out, we passed what seemed to be the only snow plow employed by the City of Virginia Beach - and wouldn't you know, it was stuck in a snow bank on the side of I-264!  We made slow, but steady progress, and eventually cleared the storm once we got west of Richmond.  (I checked the weather report when we stopped for the night and saw the Virginia Beach ended up getting over 14 inches of snow!)  We drove until 6 pm, and then stopped in Beckley, West Virginia.  We got up in the morning to find that about eight inches of snow had fallen there overnight.  Thankfully, the mountain town knew how to handle snow and we had no trouble with the roads there.

On Monday M and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary!  We spent it mostly on the road, but we had a safe trip to our hotel in Jeffersonville, Ohio.  We were able to travel up to Columbus to meet some friends of ours for dinner at O'Charley's.  S and T went to our church in New York and moved to Columbus last summer.  We hadn't seen them since we moved from New York last February, and they recently had twin girls.  It was so nice to catch up with them and meet their babies and they got to meet SJ.  We did have minor snafu with our GPS getting us lost on the way back to our hotel after dinner, but we finally turned it off and found our way back with good old-fashioned maps.

Tuesday we attended the wedding of a very dear friend of mine.  She was stunning and the wedding was lovely, and most importantly I was finally able to meet her new husband!  He is in the Air Force and they are stationed in Pensacola, Florida, so it will probably be a while before we see them again.  I am so glad we were able to make the trip to see her wedding; I have missed her so much!

We got back on the road right after the reception and headed to visit M's family.  We spent two (very busy) days with them and then drove across the state to visit my family for New Year's.  Sunday we drove back down to Hampton Roads and M was back to work on Tuesday!

Since we've been home SJ has entered a completely new phase - one that involves refusing to sleep!  I'm sure having Daddy home and then having her routine completely thrown out the window certainly didn't help anything, but oh my goodness the past two weeks have been trying.  She used to fall asleep relatively easily and then sleep a good 8-10 hour stretch most nights, but recently it's been a fight getting her to even fall asleep at all.  Once she finally is out, I'm lucky if she makes it four hours without waking up again.  Several nights she has been up nearly every hour.  I think we're finally past the worst of it, as she has actually put herself to sleep without fighting for the past three nights, but she's still waking up much more frequently than she ever did as a newborn.

In other news, we also visited a new church yesterday.  Before M left, we had been attending a medium-sized Baptist church about 25 minutes from our apartment, but we hadn't been able to connect well there.  It was a drive for us and we just never felt quite at home there (and they were in the midst of a pastor search, which is something I haven't been able to escape for nearly a decade).  Once we move next month, that church will be closer to 40 minutes away and it just didn't seem reasonable to keep attending there.  This new church is only 10 minutes from our new apartment, and we felt right at home there.  The church is small, only about 60 attendees, but our church in New York was also small and just right for us.  Everyone was very welcoming, and the church is communally-focused.  It is an Evangelical Free church and I know it is doctrinally sound, which is obviously important.  I hope we are able to build great relationships here and get connected like we were in New York.  I have so missed the Christian fellowship and companionship!  

So there you have it, Blogger world - an update on life in this Navy household.  The biggest news: we survived our first deployment!